Dear NSA,

my name is Thomas Zimmermann. If you read my Stasi record you’ll get to know my birth name.

I was born in 1964 in Eastern-Germany, formerly known as GDR, German Democratic Republic.

As the old saying goes: The GDR was reigned by a supreme party and leadership supported by a secret service, Stasi.

I had some quarrels with them, the Stasi. You can easily discover that here. Your translators will accurately figure out the key message: Don’t bother with me. I am here, the Stasi isn’t.

Beware of me. I’am dangerous.

Read my lips again: You’ll fail, epically fail.